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Society will portray an image that parenthood is a choice, but for survivors it is not so clear cut.

For some survivors, parenthood occurs much earlier than would have been sought normally. This might have been as a direct consequence of the early life abuse experience itself, bringing the associated complications – and reminders in later life; or as part of a troubled teenage years.

The choice to be a parent – is something that is also an issue for many survivors. This can be for a number of reasons, including deciding not to be a parent; or being unable to be a parent – whatever the issue, it is distressing for the individual.

If you are a parent and were abused as a child within a family environment; whether the abuser was a parent or not, it can be difficult for many survivors to know what ‘being a good enough’ parent is all about.

Our experience, within CIS’ters, has been that members of CIS’ters who are parents tend to over compensate for the failings they experienced as children; rather than under-parent.

Keeping a child safe from harm is usually the topic that is raised, and so we are providing the following links to sites that might be of use:

Family lives - a large number of aspects of parenting

Think u know - information on how to keep children safe online