Poems
Poems have always played a huge part in healing or moving forward. These poems are read by survivors to provide inspiration or written by survivors as an emotional release.
Our newsletter includes poetry and we encourage our members to submit items for the newsletter or for us to include on our display board (internally or at public events).
The content written by a survivor moves with them along their journey – evolving and changing. It can sometimes feel when rereading items written some years ago as if it was by a different person, ‘Did I really write that?’.
Here are some examples:
Keep Well (Era 0f Covid-19)
With this virus going down
And there’s no-one around
When you’re all alone
Staying in your home
Remember we are all in it together
It won’t last forever
A big thank you to the N.H.S. for all their help
Thank you to everyone who helps
I want to shout
Stay at home and keep well
Even if it feels like hell
If you need help there is help out there
Young or old, other people do care
Sister’s my thoughts and love is with you all
But together now we need to stand tall.
CIS’ters’ Member Rosemary (1484)
How Do we Thank You?
To the workers in shops, who help keep us safe when filling our trollies
And to those restocking the shelves and others who drive lorries
To the teachers and school caterers who support the vulnerable
To the carers in homes and hospices, who look after our loved ones
To the many who deliver our post and our newspapers
And those that empty the bins and sweep the streets
To the police responding to calls and keeping us safe
To the ambulance drivers and armed forces
To the army of volunteers helping to support us
Not forgetting, ever, those working in Covid-19 hotspots.
To the politicians and local councillors who praise us all
And social media contributors keeping hope in our hearts
But not the ones who constantly chip away at failures
Like newsreaders. Plus tell me what the hell has happened to
Eamon Holmes – as they increase our despair not helping at all
And a massive thank you to my friends and neighbours
Who have helped me know that they are there
If I need them now or again in the future
There are no words that are a big enough
Thank you.
Together we are a large team
A community
A band of warriors
Thank you
To us all
Gillian, CIS’ters, 14th April 2020 (era of Covid-19)
If the Mountain Seems Too Big Today
If the mountain seems too big today
Then climb a hill instead
If the morning brings you sadness
It’s ok to stay in bed
If the day ahead weighs heavy
And your plans feel like a curse
There’s no shame in rearranging
Don’t make yourself feel worse
If a shower stings like needles
And a bath feels like you’ll drown
If you haven’t washed your hair for days
Don’t throw away your crown
A day is not a lifetime
A rest is not defeat
Don’t think of it as failure
Just a quiet, kind retreat
It’s ok to take a moment
From an anxious, fractured mind
The world will not stop turning
While you get realigned
The mountain will still be there
When you want to try again
You can climb it in your own time
Just love yourself til then
A massive thank you to Avril (43) who found this on the net
and sent in to help us all manage another day………
Integration
Integration happens at night
Memory and feelings unite
in the dark shadow of
drifting light, as day drifts into night.
No need to recall
the memory is clear
previous, elusive, feelings
clamour to be near.
Interrupting the calm of knowing
but not feeling
until my nerves become
stretched to breaking.
Terror, child like fear
irrational and uncontrolled
no recognition of the passing years
of then - is now - again.
Awake sweating, feeling the touch
of his hot clammy hands upon
my breasts, thighs, secret places
hot breath, smelling of whisky
whispering foul into my ear.
Tears, silently falling
like acid running down
my cheeks
eyes sore, red rimmed
silent witness
to my pain, endured.
Years, days, hours - then, now
is it a dream of the future
from a child
or of the past, as an adult
integration happens at night.
Invading my peace
allowing no sleep
only restless tossing
turning, weeping.
Integration happens at night
recognising now, the childs plight
of years.
Courage, reality, the price is high.
The cost is heavy.
(Gillian - Written 1994)
How Could You?
How could you
Rape me,
Abuse me,
Deny me my innocence ?
Smug look, knowing smile,
Taunting me,
As I grow from child to woman.
Secret safe, power game,
Waiting for the next generation
To play this game.
Not me, not mine.
I cannot capture
The power to confront you openly
But score points in any way I can.
Deny the children
None are borne.
Safe is the unborn,
No energy wasted in watching,
The safety of any child of mine.
(Gillian - Written 1996)
Friends Lost
Friends Lost
Faces turned away
The truth too difficult to hear
Perhaps own secrets locked
Not wanting to disturb
Eyes cast away, not meeting mine
Shuffling feet, moving body away
From mine, for fear of
Contamination, of being too close
Lest the stigma will stick.
Friends gained
Nodding heads
Hands reaching out to clasp
My shaking hands
Empathy, respect, Belief.
Courage to disclose
Courage to accept the truth
Me as i am now and then
Friends support and with that
Strength. I move on.
(Gillian - Written 1996)
Because it does.
It matters, because you stole what was
Only mine to give
To the right person
At the right time.
It matters, because
You hurt me, not just physically
But emotionally too.
It matters because what you did to me,
Affected how I saw myself
And how others saw me too.
It matters because of what I was denied
Then and now.
It matters – and don’t let anyone,
Least of all you
Think that it doesn’t.
It matters that today
Children are still unseen and unheard &
That Judges and the law of the land
Blame them for what others
Have done, to them.
It MATTERS – and it always will!
(Gillian - Written 2009)
It takes time
For us to speak
It takes time
For us to trust
You
Us
Society
It takes time
For you to understand
To appreciate
The fragility of a child
A child that is powerless
Despite what YOU say
What you think
Children are unable to stop abuse
Only you can do that
The adult survivor
The friend
The parent
The neice
The neighbor
The work colleague
The teacher
The doctor
The person
Who stands and sees
And before, turn away from the truth,
It takes you, and us, to stop the abuse
(Gillian - Written 2016)
Now – there are no longer 100s
Now – there are 1000s
Of survivors
Speaking out
Being heard
The tsunami of change
Is upon us
It is full of voices
New ones
And
Those that
Are decades old
Still saying
This is our truth
This is the truth of children,
Still
Today
Please help them
Please help us
Voices – echoing across the land
Though not always in harmony
And sometimes
Abusive
But
Still
Voices – echoing across the land
(Gillian - Written 2017)