Flight, fight and freeze responses
It can be difficult to know why, or how, our bodies made decisions during the abuse experiences; and subsequently.
We can tell ourselves ‘we should have’ done this or that, at the time of the abuse.
We can tell ourselves ‘we should be able to stop this reaction’ now, if we are triggered by something linked to the earlier abuse experience.
The reality is that our body, our mind, is making decisions – based on what it determines is the safest thing for us, at that time. It also means that if a defence reaction helped at the time of the abuse, the mind will often choose that approach again and again, even if the original danger is not past.
So, how does the brain make the decision? This video might help make it clearer: